Ken and Elizabeth Mellor

Why did you write Teen Stages?

In 1995 or thereabouts Rex Finch attended a workshop we were running on dealing with teenagers, and subsequently Rex asked us if we would write a book on the area. We agreed readily, as we were keen to get the information out to a wider audience than the one we had reached already through direct teaching for more than two decades. It's a subject we feel passionate about so we didn't need a lot of prompting. It took until 2004 because the introduction we set out to write for the book on teenagers turned into a book of its own. This was published in 2000 and is called ParentCraft. Only as we began to write did we realise how many general and specific parenting strategies parents need in order to raise children from conception to adulthood, and we wanted to have them available to everyone before getting into the very demanding teenage years.

How would you summarise your book's key message?

We have two key messages for parents in the book. The first is that teenagers need their parents to stay involved and around. If anything, instead of moving back, as many parents do when their children enter the teenage years, we urge parents to get more involved again than they may perhaps have been for a few years prior to then. Parental involvement helps to secure wonderful outcomes for our children as they move into adulthood, whereas reduced or minimal parental involvement is very likely to result in emotional, psychological, social and other problems, sometimes of life-threatening significance.

The second key message is that parents make a difference to their teenagers and can learn what to do to ensure, as far as possible, that their teenagers reach adulthood in good shape, ready to venture out into the world as capable and well-balanced young adults.

Based on feedback you've received, does any section or aspect of the book appeal to people in particular?

Readers have responded very well to all three sections of the book, finding each of practical value. Even so, the section that has the biggest impact is the material on the developmental stages through which teenagers grow. Understanding that our teenagers seem to become six distinctively different people as they grow from thirteen years of age to twenty-one years of age is a real eye-opener to many. The descriptions of the changes and the numerous suggestions about what is needed from parents at each stage are a great relief to many. They discover that they can get their lives back in their own control and contribute to the upbringing of their teenagers with much greater confidence than they were without the information.

Any final advice for readers?

We suggest that you buy, read and use Teen Stages. We also suggest that you buy ParentCraft. The two books are a wonderful resource and cover many of the situations, issues and events that arise during childhood. Both are practical and well tested by many parents. Also, we suggest that you - the reader - keep returning to each book. They offer suggestions for each age, and you can get the best use from them by reading the sections that deal with your children's ages and issues. Re-reading the material like this will help to keep it in mind for the times you need it, whereas attempting to heed the advice from memory when you read it years before is not usually as helpful or useful.