Teen Stages

Shock, horror - teenagers actually want to be controlled and have their parents involved in their lives! According to parent educators Ken and Elizabeth Mellor, parents need to stay involved, not 'step back', as their children become teenagers - because teenagers in the early to middle teen years actually want ongoing guidance, despite appearances! As well as parental involvement, teenagers need attention to safety, clear expectations and limits, and for their parents to understand what is happening. Among the Mellors' other key points are:

• teenagers grow through six very different developmental stages that mirror earlier phases in their lives from infancy on
• each stage requires specific responses from parents that rarely work for the other stages
• teenagers need lots of time and attention in the early to middle years, particularly if they 'slip back' to more infantile behaviour
• parents need to be aware of the more grown-up aspects of their teenagers' development so they can encourage this, even in the face of their children's emotional immaturity 
• parents and teachers need to read any signs of trouble in a teenager correctly - and the Mellors include a chart, the Rainbow Alert Scale, to help with this important task.  

The ideas and techniques in Teen Stages include many approaches from parents who raised their children successfully - approaches that have stood the test of time.

'Grant and I both felt overloaded. But the six stages immediately made sense to us. Suddenly, all sorts of things came together that hadn't before. They [the stages] gave us a map to help us find our way through everything that was going on.' Angelica, mother of three teenagers.
 
 
'I look back now and thank my lucky stars that I found out about the six stages. Knowing what was coming next meant that I was a little ahead of the game.' Bernadette, single mother of Marie.